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Sunday, 08 November 2009

Observations

The next couple weeks will be interesting, as Chris is off to Albany for two weeks of flextronics/verizon training. Flextronics sounds kinda like electronic yoga to me, but I think it has more to do with cell phones. We made a last minute trip to Walmart, so I'm currently enjoying a dinner of coffee and double chocolate cookies. I'm also re-watching The Princess Bride, because... it's awesome.

Today was the church football game - the Wallingford vs. Waturbury. Sadly we had to leave early to get Chris on the road to Albany, but I hear the score was 28-14 Wallingford. w00t! The weather was absolutely gorgeous. 70, clear, and sunny. When I wasn't taking photos I laid back on the turf and soaked up what's probably the last of the fall sunshine. Though I've always been a fan of snow and the cuddly winter weather, now that I'm paying a gas bill I'm happy with the warmer weather.

Managing finances has definitely been interesting. I'm going home for a week over Thanksgiving, and between the work I'll miss and the bus ticket I'm a bit worried about November. Oh I should also mention I owe $500 for crashing Chris' Kia Rio into a guard rail at the mall. *facepalm* Yes I'm fine, Yes the car is fixed... I just need more money now. This has been a learning experience for me, because I like to have everything planned. I like to know how much money I'll have, when I'll have it, and generally what my plans are for it. Not having guaranteed hours that will cover whatever expenses ensue stresses me a tad. Even though I know technically I should get a certain amount of hours, the company not having to schedule me for more than four makes me nervous. ha.

I feel like I'm finally beginning to be settled here. I actually started cooking a little. Nothing much, but for me buying some normal food instead of just instant crap is a good sign. The $5 candle in a jar from walmart covers up the smell of the free couches, and my futon-with-an-extra-mattress bed is surprisingly comfortable. Then there's Chris' big TV, all of his and my DVDs... Life is good. I've also become very addicted to skittles. I've always liked them, but recently I've been having major skittle cravings.

For the record, I hate early morning photoshoots. Being somewhere at 6am is not cool, unless somewhere is asleep in bed. Unfortunately that wasn't the case yesterday. I had to be in Ridgefield - an hour drive, at 6. Then I took photos of comatose seven year olds, who really didn't even register that I was trying to communicate with them. Somehow team coaches and parents have a specific vocal frequency that gets through, albeit still a fuzzy signal at times.

Lastly, I'm still in awe of the fact that I've stumbled into a honest to goodness real church community. I spent my teen years entirely cynical about organized church, but the last year or so I started realizing how much I needed Christian community. Not a christian country club, just honest to goodness people caring for other people, worshiping God together, and working to make a difference for Him in the world. Some of the members of Ward Street church started getting together the first Friday of the month in the church basement for informal worship, and that's pretty much my favorite thing ever. Sunday mornings are awesome of course, but the Friday night thing is just people sharing what's on their hearts, and of course some awesome three or four part harmony singing. The church thing has brought me to a few realizations.

R1 |Wherever I am, God will surround me with a community of people tailored exactly for me - people who can bless me somehow, and or people who He wants me to be a blessing to.| *I'm actually not just talking about church with this one, although that is a big part of it. I'm talking about business community as well, but thats another blog post*

R2 |Being a part of a church community helps me stay focused in the right places, and keeps me accountable for my walk with God, and my growth. It helps me keep my priorities straight even when circumstances are difficult at best and impossible at worst. |

R3 | church community is another tier / layer of family. Though they will never know me the same way my biological family knows me, church community is definitely family in a broader sense. |

R4 | Though all churches are going to have unique issues, not all of them are controlling and dysfunctional with a sugar coating of "Jesus love". |

Thursday, 29 October 2009

Discerning the Will Of God... and random connections to "You've Got Mail"

I've always talked to myself a lot, but for some reason living alone in an apartment makes me more prone to wondering aloud to myself, or even praying out loud - hashing out my life and issues in ways that many would find irreverent. Since June I've been struggling a lot with being able to trust myself hearing from God. Mostly because it was challenged by some people very close to me. Now it seems like no matter how sure I am of what Gods will is for my life I can always hear their voice of doubt in my head.

I have been faced with a lot of new challenges, but I've found a lot of new opportunities and perspectives as well. I've been interacting with a couple different church groups, meeting a lot of new people, following up on opportunities and much more. Yes I've had a few setbacks but we all have to deal with things to get anywhere worth going.

Anyways, ending with a quote from "You've Got Mail..."

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around?..."

"I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So goodnight, dear void"

Tuesday, 20 October 2009

Currently
A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life
By Donald Miller
see related
OCTOBER 09 - Confessions of a Victorias Secret Associate

-A bird from the pet store getting loose and flying all around the store, and my manager completely freaking out.
-Working a 12 hour shift from 7pm to 7am. The words "bra storm" were used. There were bras all over the floor. literally. Every shape, size, and color.
- PANTY BARS. hell to keep neat. Really. "Can I help you find your size?" means " I just arranged those for the fiftymillionth time, so if you touch them I will hunt you down when my shift ends."
- A meeting just to tell us about two new perfumes and that Victorias Secret during the holidays is one of the most difficult retailers to work for. Uhhhh yay? *slight cringe*
-People who cannot read coupons or signs themselves but have to have you tell them what it says.
-Conversion, a really annoying way to track sales. (ratio of people who come into the store to people who spend money. yes they count them)

Unfortunately I have an annoying head cold right now... and I'm having trouble sleeping so I'm on xanga. But really October has been going well. Its been so busy my head is spinning. I'm trying to make my plans for going home over Thanksgiving, iron out my living arrangements, and keep work going. I miss everyone at home like crazy of course. For the most part I actually don't mind working at VS. I don't even entirely mind doing the panty bars... at least for the first nine times of the day. The girls there are interesting... I think if I stay on long enough I could have enough material for a "Confessions of a Victorias Secret Associate" book. But nevertheless a quick intro.
We have: The OCD Manager, The girl who really likes to gossip and complains about getting hours, The pretty much awesome manager, The store manager who freaks everyone out, The girl who only likes dance music (and listens to it for the ENTIRE time we're doing the floorset.) Anyways such is life...

On a separate note I've been able to see more of old friends lately. Yay for a day of making apple pies and pumpkin carving! I also finally bought Donald Millers new book. I'm really enjoying it. It's not nearly as intense as parts of "Searching for God Knows What", but he definitely digs into a lot about motivation and what it means to live a good life, with a good story. Sometimes I feel like life is this maze I will never know if I took the right turn or not in... and some of his perspectives have given me a bit more clarity.

I'm starting to look into marketing my photography more heavily as well. I'm seriously considering taking college courses in photojournalism and or graphic design if I can get grants and or scholarships towards a degree. I really feel like photojournalism is what's best suited for me, because I'm always mentally quantifying and describing life, events, and trying to find ways to document it that will be intriguing. Also I'm happiest with my photos that tell a story. Then there's the whole photo - documentary side of things... So much to think about. Anyways I'm finally getting a bit sleepy, so I'll sign out for now.

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Growing Pains

So I haven't blogged in forever. I'll spare you the phsycobabble about why not, though most of it just comes down to me chatting / talking with a few close friends more often, and my life moving more quickly, leaving less time for rumination.

This past month has held some big changes for me. I moved to Connecticut, got two jobs, and I'm working on actually being able to afford an apartment. (If anyone in the Wallingford area wants a gorgeous apartment and a roomate, please message me!! ) The apartment thing is very accelerated from my original plans of staying with some friends until the spring, then when I had my jobs and finances lined up looking for an actual apartment. Now I'm scrambling a bit, wondering where money will come from, etc. At the same time its all somewhat thrilling. I feel like I'm testing my own limits, seeing how far I can push myself and how much I can accomplish. However I feel like the more I actually accomplish the more I expect of myself.

I had to deal with some life drama for the first time on my own. I've been through plenty of frustrating, hurtful, situations with my family, but never before did it have to do this directly with me - and never before was I the main person it affected. Granted any difficult situation will have the ripple affect, and there are always others affected... but that isn't my point.

All this to say I'm beginning to feel like I'm growing up in new ways. Learning new things, taking on new responsibilities. Realizing exactly how fast money goes when you spend it even in increments of $3 or $10.
So that's September 2009 in a nutshell.

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

Currently
Slumdog Millionaire
By Dev Patel, Anil Kapoor, Saurabh Shukla, Rajendranath Zutshi
see related
All in a days work...

Final draft of real estate ad~

aaaand possible home page for the new and improved site. Thoughts? Too busy?